Nightmare of Lies and Truth
I had a nightmare this morning
My heads ear heard you making that bitch moan
My minds eye seen you with her in the shower
And when I walked down the stairs so anxiety and out of breath
It was only just you
Once
Run and hide through the silent streets
smoking your sorrows away
Stop at the only heart's desire
but he's so far in his wake
Beating, the clock's demise
For tomorrow will never arise
His eyes do not shine, as
it was no masquerade just
a drunken high on a summer night.
Now you fall,
when you believed you had anything.
The world's dreams at your fingertips
Now they spark with the dream
that once stood in sullen footsteps.
But slaughtered as deeply as could've been
The trees bear witness to this emptiness
As the colors fall and blow away
the sun falls much earlier these days
Perpetually cold, they say it's OK
You can no longer fight
The blackness creeping in,
threatening all you had once been
but still not sleeping
Just as much as it takes to see
through the fog and strong beliefs
Morals falter, in denial
What have you done?
You've let your heart fly free
and let out all the demons
with their albino eyes
Now they drift, threatening doom
amongst all the colors
between me and you
Prison Prism
There are clowns that chase us through the dunes
smiling and crying
as an old friend plays a song
they are all fucked up here
I feel I belong
I find you, your face eaten
by the things that haunt us
green
jealousy
as you
touch her
the prison We've created
is our own doing
My First Time
You may have been her first
And she is not the first I want to forget about
Oh if only I could throw her out the window
Erase a passage of time that never even existed in your mind
Her eyes, her body, her place in man kind
Too many women peeping through my windows
Laughing from your memories
That’s all they are
Memories
The past
Why then do I yearn to change it
Why is it killing me like a carbon monoxide hotbox inside of a Chevrolet
Make it all disappear
Get her out of my mind
I wish I had her experience
Possibly I am just jealous
As her eyes watch me as if I am the villain
As if I am a wicked queen
I know she wants me out of the way
I never had a love I could cry over
You were the first one to see her bare naked body
Touching places no ones seen
Making her feel things she had never believed
My first
I never wanted to say those words
My first
Age eleven in a woods behind a baseball field with a nineteen year old pervert who promised dreams and cotton candy
Confused children that do whatever he tells them to
My first
All a psychologically demented blur
My first
A drink, a joint, anything to forget
As well as my second and my third
Thirteen and fifteen are rather odd numbers
As well as the next six gruelling years
Did anyone hear the words my lovers have told me in the past
She seems so tough but they would still burn her fragile ears
They would bring any soul to tears
So yes
I am jealous
He traced your skin and your synapses breathed, pulsed, smiled as no one had made them before
I am jealous
He, he and he made me a whore
Virginity is not a childproof door
It’s a one way street that can never change direction
You have a piece of her heart
forever
No matter how much I love you
You have all that’s left of mine
But I cant have all of yours
Because you’re her first
You will always be on her mind
Smoke
You promised you wouldn’t forget
The memories would not diminish
Now they lay lost
In a sea of smoke and broken dreams
My wishes, my life
Lay untouched beneath the words
The words of yours
I had solemnly lived for
You told me not to be afraid
Now I fear for my very path
My soul and my heart
That sleeps by your bedside
When will the craziness stop
Will you ever see what you have done
Or are your eyes too red
To see in the right direction
On the wrong path
I pray for you to make the right decision
But I will no longer wait for you
After all your dreams are
Smoked
Away
One lone tear burns down my cheek
Because I try so hard
And you will never fail to arise in the back of my mind
So
Goodbye
Erase
Life passes you by
Yet trying to forget all that’s happened
Is like erasing permanent marker
On the soul
Trying to find a safe place to stand
Proves to be
Yet the most strenuous of tasks
The scars and bruises eventually fade
But the feelings they stay the same
You can move forward in time
Because the hardest lesson to learn
Is that time will heal
It heals but not completely
Because you never forget
The gentle touch the shining eyes
Strive to erase them from your heart
Because you cant go back
You can try
Savage End of Civilization
I no longer want to be a part of your game
Its driving me insane
The way one day you’re so charming
and your teeth sinks into my skin, harming
Ill go die now
Make the world smile somehow
Make another unheard vow
I don’t know who I am, what to be
so what do you mean when you tell me
I’m being someone I am not
When I don’t know who I am in the first place
Empty inside
tears of cried
I’ve already died
Inside
My hearts lied
When my eyes met yours
they told me to be kind
But like a werewolf at the break of night
you have become my hindsight
Don\t live in my dreams
stop dancing on my kitchen table
you float around likee nothings the matter
But ill be back
Dirty and muddy
straight from my heart
Ill be weak in the knees
beaten and bloody
In the end
the savage end of civilization
Just Wondering
I was just wondering,
Does she have your picture up on your wall?
do you guys cherish the moments,
roll in the sand
forget who you are,
do you embrace yourself in the passion,
Do you ever got lost because of the beauty?
Does she ever sneak into your room at night
Just to cuddle?
Or is it with her,
Just sex on the side?
I know you'll miss it, when the sun decides
it's been out to long
and when you run out of bullets.
You'll want a face that cares
A hand that caresses it's tender touch
A heart that will love you for who you are.
This has gone to far.
It's over, that's the fact.
You lied to me but I’ll forget that
Because I truly loved you,
for kind soul and spirit
your tender words
your gentle kisses.
So when your lonely at night
Think of me
And the way that I loved you
